as it seems to me

so what is it that you would have me say?
what words do you want to hear?
ive been trying to find the right combination, the secret mixture that will unlock a deeper path. because everything can be seen in terms of math. everything should be as it seems.

eventually, one of us will get fed up of holding out. and it will most likely be me. ill be forced to lean in and show you what i mean. what ive been meaning the entire time. and youll laugh “thats more like it.”

tomorrow when i see you and him together, as i always do, im going to smile because i know in my heart of hearts that youd rather it be me. thank you for that.

lets start with just an embrace. ill hold you close, shiver shake. silver snake. rearing up its poison fangs that have struck me in the shoulder and neck. and out bled my pain.